Putting the band back together....
dreamingspires
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Consider Phebes bar (and Russian speakers) (New York) - Ketel vodka
On Tuesday night, I crashed a Russian speakers & culture group at Phebes bar, East Village. Russians, Ukrainians, Russian expatriates, smart Russian speaking Americans and Baltic expats churned the room. It had been organised by a very charming and civic minded fan of the culture.
"Can you speak Russian?" Russian and Ukrainians asked me.
"No," I said cheerfully. I am learning....just very slowly.
Oleg: "who?"
Me: "The metals and aluminium tycoon".
"Oh, another oligarch".
I guess there's a million Olegs in Russian. I was speaking with a lawyer about proof in mathematics when a jocular, open faced local who did speak Russian wandered up to us.
"I'm a lawyer," he said. "You know, I have horns and cloved feet."
"We're both lawyers," I said, also indicating my female companion.
" - And I have a tail tucked away," he continued.
"We're lawyers," I repeated, and he realised what I was saying.
I do know what it's like. He would have had some bad experiences in bars: people just don't understand you -
A Russian wandered over, than quickly ducked away at the realisation he was in the presence of three lawyers. When I found myself discussing Michel Foucault's "History of Sexuality" with an Upper East side denizen who could speak Russian really well, I needed a drink.For a bar hosting a Russian speakers forum, Phebes had positives and negatives. The positives were a relaxed ambiance, interesting patrons, good food. The big negative was the spirit selection, particularly the vodkas. I bought Ketel. On seventh avenue Greenwich Village, not far from where I live, a giant bill-board advertisement for ketel announces "Gentlemen, this is vodka". Ketel is in fact a well regarded Dutch vodka, considered to be ultra-premium. But labels...... I don't know. For me, there's a scratchy, slightly smoky under-burn taste to it. Something just isn't quite there....It's not that smooth. Now people I know and respect drink it. So I can say it will always be safe to drink Ketel.
Conditional Parenting - NYTimes.com
In 2004, two Israeli researchers, Avi Assor and Guy Roth, joined Edward L. Deci, a leading American expert on the psychology of motivation, in asking more than 100 college students whether the love they had received from their parents had seemed to depend on whether they had succeeded in school, practiced hard for sports, been considerate toward others or suppressed emotions like anger and fear.
It turned out that children who received conditional approval were indeed somewhat more likely to act as the parent wanted. But compliance came at a steep price. First, these children tended to resent and dislike their parents. Second, they were apt to say that the way they acted was often due more to a “strong internal pressure” than to “a real sense of choice.” Moreover, their happiness after succeeding at something was usually short-lived, and they often felt guilty or ashamed.
In a companion study, Dr. Assor and his colleagues interviewed mothers of grown children. With this generation, too, conditional parenting proved damaging. Those mothers who, as children, sensed that they were loved only when they lived up to their parents’ expectations now felt less worthy as adults. Yet despite the negative effects, these mothers were more likely to use conditional affection with their own children.
This July, the same researchers, now joined by two of Dr. Deci’s colleagues at the University of Rochester, published two replications and extensions of the 2004 study. This time the subjects were ninth graders, and this time giving more approval when children did what parents wanted was carefully distinguished from giving less when they did not.
The studies found that both positive and negative conditional parenting were harmful, but in slightly different ways. The positive kind sometimes succeeded in getting children to work harder on academic tasks, but at the cost of unhealthy feelings of “internal compulsion.” Negative conditional parenting didn’t even work in the short run; it just increased the teenagers’ negative feelings about their parents.
What these and other studies tell us, if we’re able to hear the news, is that praising children for doing something right isn’t a meaningful alternative to pulling back or punishing when they do something wrong. Both are examples of conditional parenting, and both are counterproductive.
via nytimes.com
an article that's worth reading and thinking about for all parents with young children.
maybe it's time we relearnt how to raise our kids!
Snake and Kangaroo
Apparently this is from somewhere in Western Australia.
I don’t know if the snake succeeded in hauling the roo up to the ledge for lunch.
Visit the real blog on indigenous and remote health
South Africa vs Australia Perth 2009
On a cold windless night we witnessed the power of South Africa as they overcame a lack luster Australian side 32 points to 25.
Brilliant, incisive running rugby combined with a powerful display from the forward pack saw South Africa run out bonus point winners by four tries to three.
