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#3 Thing to Tell Your Baby--Losing It.

Yes, the Big It. The state of holiness, the loss of innocence. Your induction into the hall of shame. The slippery slope of sexual servitude. How old were you? What were the circumstances leading up to it? Was it with who you hoped it would be with? What was it like, judging against your expectations, hopes, or imagination? Was there music? What was it?

For me, it was a week before going to college. This album played on my Pioneer turntable over and over and over. To this day when I hear Track 3--Is This Love--I think of her quite fondly.

Go ahead, tell your kid. They'll love you for it.

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Tim Tebow, a Virgin?

Tim Tebow is quickly proving himself to be the Andy Stitzer of college football. Unlike Stitzer, who is the lead character that Steve Carell plays in the movie "The 40-Year-Old Virgin", Tim Tebow is not embarrassed to admit that he is a virgin, and he is actually planning to stay...

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• How I live on $600 a month. There’s a commonly held belief that college students are dirt poor and have to find ways of living on practically nothing, and it’s absolutely true. Most students believe they don’t have time to work any serious amount of hours while they are in school, so they don’t make very much...
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• Tim Tebow, a Virgin? Tim Tebow is quickly proving himself to be the Andy Stitzer of college football. Unlike Stitzer, who is the lead character that Steve Carell plays in the movie "The 40-Year-Old Virgin", Tim Tebow is not embarrassed to admit that he is a virgin, and he is actually planning to stay...

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• The Development of Education in Africa EDUCATION in Africa has a history reaching back many centuries. Certainly the achievements of the ancient civilizations of Egypt and Ethiopia are well known. Then, early in the first millennium of the Common Era, the Moors and other peoples on the northern fringe of Africa made notable contributions to world...
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Tim Tebow, a Virgin?

Tim Tebow is quickly proving himself to be the Andy Stitzer of college football. Unlike Stitzer, who is the lead character that Steve Carell plays in the movie "The 40-Year-Old Virgin", Tim Tebow is not embarrassed to admit that he is a virgin, and he is actually planning to stay...

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• Tim Tebow, a Virgin? Tim Tebow is quickly proving himself to be the Andy Stitzer of college football. Unlike Stitzer, who is the lead character that Steve Carell plays in the movie "The 40-Year-Old Virgin", Tim Tebow is not embarrassed to admit that he is a virgin, and he is actually planning to stay...
• Credit Safety On The College Campus This is a guest post by Tisha Kulak of CreditorWeb. Students going off to college are in for a lot of new experiences. With a little common sense and by practicing good habits, stolen credit cards and identity theft will not be one of them. College students have many options...
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• Swiping the V-Card Girl 1: "I know it smells kind of cheap, but I like it because it's the perfume I was wearing when I lost my virginity." Girl 2: "I thought you were wearing 'Ralph' when you lost it?" Girl 1: "No, that was my other virginity."   Today I'm introducing...
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Filthy Friday Five: Does size matter?

The Filthy Friday Five for August 22: Mr. Obvious Version

1. Once and for all, do you think size matters?

Of course, size matters. It isn't everything, but it matters.

2. Would you rather have a great relationship with good sex, or a good relationship with great sex?

A great relationship with good sex. Although, the better the relationship, the better the sex is likely to be.

3. When you first became sexually active, did anything come as a surprise to you about the experience or your partner's anatomy? Or did you know what was coming, so to speak?

Every date was a new adventure. Even the things I knew that were correct were incomplete. An orgasm that your partner gives you is so different from the one you give yourself, I'm not sure they should have the same name. And it still surprises me that she can tighten her kegel muscles.

4. What made you decide to have sex for the first time?

"Decide" is far too logical a word, implying logic and reason. We were both plenty motivated. It was more a matter of deciding not to until the contraception issue was resolved.
I didn't set out to find somebody to have sex with: The relationship came first, and that made it possible for me to feel the need for sex.

5. Does oral sex count in the "virginity debate?" Does anal?

Yes, it counts. "Virginity" is a state of mind, not the presence of a specific act.

Weekly Wednesday: Virginity & Masturbation

Weekly Wednesday: Week Two

When was the first time you learned that touching "down there" was a good feeling?

Darn if I remember the date. But I remember the occasion. Full details in my last Sexy Saturday answer.

Have you ever been caught doing it?

No. Nor have there been any near misses. I don't believe in tempting fate.

Have you ever purposefully done it in front of someone?

No. However, it's what I fantasize about (on those occasions when I fantasize). I'd like to--but I have trouble understanding why anyone would want to watch. I videotaped myself once, and watched it. God, how embarrassing.

Weekly Wednesday: Week One

Since this is a new blog, my topic will be virginity. Was it what you expected, losing it?

No. Even though my first time was the worst sex of my life, it was infinitely better than I thought it would be. And has only gotten better since. Full details are here.

How many partners have you had since you lost your virginity?

One. Really.

Do you think you should have waited?

No. Hell, no.

Is there a good age to lose virginity?

That's a real poser, given that I have a teenage daughter and a middle-school son. I'm deeply conflicted about this. I suspect no father in the history of the human race has ever thought that any boy was good enough for his daughter. I lost it in the summer between my sophomore and junior years in college, and that seems about right.

Sexy Saturday: 'Saving' sex/virginity until the wedding night

Sexy Saturday: Week 19

Do you believe in 'saving' sex/virginity until the wedding night, or is that a completely outdated notion?

For myself, no, I don’t believe in "saving" oneself until marriage. However, I believe it is a personal decision, and a commitment I do not think less of someone for wishing to make.
I will observe, though, that the opposite of "saving it" is not necessarily "giving it away."

Did you or someone you know actually do this?

I did not. I do not know of anyone whom I know for a fact did so. But then I’m not real nosy about my friends’ sex lives. I am occasionally curious, but not nosy.
In practice, though (as previously confessed back in week 16), I married the girl with whom I exchanged virginity; we just didn’t wait until after we were married to do that. So does that count or not?
I believe that she considered us engaged to be married the moment she consented to have sex. This is an opinion I didn’t immediately share.
It scared the hell out of me when the phrase “when we get married” first crept into her conversation. It might have been later that night; if not, it wasn’t long after. Sex and marriage had never been inseparably connected for me, and I was surprised that she was thinking along those lines.
Mind you, it was only the idea of marriage per se that terrified me. The prospect of marrying this particular girl, when I was able to consider it separately, struck me as a pretty darned good idea. (It still does.)
I confess I felt a wisp of disappointment when I realized that I probably wouldn’t find out what sex was like with other girls, if they were all going to expect that. This lack of experience is my single biggest regret in life.
On the other hand, I thanked God I hadn’t had sex with my first girlfriend. What a disaster that would have been.
Anyway, I figured it would do no harm to go along with her assumption. She understood that, due to our commitments to college, it would be years before we could actually get married. If it turned out to be a bad idea, we’d find that out before we did anything irrevocable. (Well, I guess sex is irrevocable, but you know what I mean.)
Well, three years went by, and the idea only got better.

What were your reasons for abstaining from sex?

Not applicable. See above.

In hindsight, do you think it was the right decision?

Yes.
Sex is a special case of scratching an itch. It has become attached to intimacy, and I believe this is as it should be. There are people I wouldn’t shake hands with, there are people I wouldn’t share a room with, and there are people I wouldn’t accept a backrub from. My standards for fucking are significantly higher yet.
However, the notion that it may only be done with one person in one’s life is absurd. That’s far too much to lay on a, er, lay.

Sexy Saturday: 'Wrecked' any virgins?

Sexy Saturday: Week 17

Have you 'wrecked' (deflowered, etc.) any virgins in your lifetime?

Only the one. Does it count if it was a mutual wrecking? (Between last week and this, I'm really blowing my sex-blog street cred, here.)

Would you rather have an experienced partner or do you enjoy being the teacher?

There's a lot to be said for learning together, a situation the question as phrased doesn't allow for. That said, I'd have to also say that it's easy to be overwhelmed by the feelings and sensations of sex, and it might help if one partner knows what to expect and helps ease the other through it.

Sexy Saturday: Virginity

Sexy Saturday: Week 12

At what age did you lose your virginity?

Eighteen. My second year of junior college, her first. You didn't ask, but we were in the back seat of my car, in the parking lot of a church near (but not too near) her house. I'm reasonably sure I shouldn't tell you the year.

Do you think virginity is overrated?

Huh. Having a teenaged daughter, and an about-to-be-teenaged son, I find this an... interesting question.
Not if it's by choice. There can be pride in it: There should never be shame. Being forced into abstinence by a lack of options is no virtue. But neither is having sex just because there's nothing good on TV. (That's what masturbation is for.)

Was sex what you expected it to be, or were you (un)pleasantly surprised?

It was good, even the first time (which left plenty of room for improvement). I wanted it on an instinctual level, in a way I still can't articulate.
It wasn't at all what I expected it to be. It was better. (Except for the taste of contraceptive foam. Pfui.)

Would you have liked to wait longer to have sex?

No. But, at the same time, I'm glad it didn't happen much sooner. I wouldn't have been emotionally ready. I didn't have sex with my first girlfriend, nor did it ever occur to me (good thing, all things considered). I mildly regret not having had sex with the second. In retrospect, I think she wanted to, but I was too naive to know it at the time. It probably would have been great, if either of us had known how. I had no idea.
But I'm glad my first time was with whom it was.