Take a seat and think about the consequences of drunk driving
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I EAT BABIES
Everything moves forward, not backwards. I don't know. I just felt ilke saying that. Basically, that just means there's no turing back in life. Most people or some shall I say, will regret stuff in their pasts. I say I do, but honestly, I don't. Because I believe that everything happens for a reason. and that there's not turing back and that's for a reason too. Sometimes, someday, if time traveling does occur, I think, everything is going to be destroyed. I honestly believe, when time traveling is invented ( I'm not saying it's impossible) the world shall end. So that is my thoughts on time traveling. Sorry about the random paragraph (:
Anyways, like any youtube videos, they have introductions. Well thanks to subscribing and creating an account people ! <3 So, if you didn't do so. you should 8D. I'm not trying to be modest or anything, but I know my blogs aren't that great. I know they aren't as "wonderful" or "wowing" much, but I know that I use my blogs to describe my feelings about life and eveything thats anything that's on my mind. (most) . Thank you for some of you out there who read my blogs and worried about me ('= You don't know how much that made my day ^_^
Okay, so back on topic. I need to state 2 things. One about my dad, second about how I have my mood swings. and my friend's birthday . and weird other things.
OKAY. so first off my dad. Remember my last 3 blogs about my dad ? well, back then, I had really deep sad feelings about him . And I try to keep it that way. Because I thought I made my final decision. To be independent of my dad. But it's not working. I have to hang with him everyday. He's my ride towards walmart. and other places that is very fun to be at. He's my taxi. My free taxi . And it makes me realized that if he's still driving me places, and buying me stuff (knotts tickets, clothes, and school supplies) then he never really did hate me huh ? And I'm REALLY honestly glad I realized that, but at the same time, I felt really guilty. Why ? because I talk shit about him on this blog. I expressed my shitty feeelings about him , and my friends read this. I know my dad. he's pretty sensitive. And if he does read this one day, I don't know what to say . Cause I feel bad . I don't know how to explain this, but it's kind of like that guitly feeling one has when one talks behind your friend's back or something ? like talking shit about your best friend. It doesn't have to be like "oh super juicy gossip" but just a little can kill it all. Yeah, that's how I'm feeling. I guess my dad is my best friend in a strange way . so to conclude it up . I feel . guilty. (credits to alex for helping me think that way)
I have been noticing that I have a lot of mood swings lately. I think I finally found a correct answer towards it. It's just. crazy you know ? like , one minute, I feel sad. and the next I feel mad. and sometimes, espressing your feelings at the end of the day . actually helps a lot. It helps me get a lot of things out of my head and concentrate on things like schoolwork and going to sleep :D . haha. I'm a sleepybear. Yeah, but back to topic. I get angry A LOT LATELY. so beware, if at school, all of a sudden I explode. I'm sorry. but cahnces are, I won't explode. For some reason, I'm only allowing my emotions to fly in my room. or when I'm alone. because. I can think and deal with them . it's like a miniature court, except you're dealing interally with your emotions. haha. HOW FUN (x
I'm not going to talk about my friend's birthday. sorry :P . I'm going to have a moment to describe how I feel towards BOBand how I have to deal with it . -closes eyes & think- // every morning, I wake up just to see him . I get dressed and tell myself, "okay something is going to happen . something incredulous is going to happen . something like a miracle. There, I tell myself the hopes I have built up and head towards school . I see him. I see him . I tell myeslf. "alrights nicki. go talk to him . say hello . act normal. your friends said you are good at that. go do it now and don't let them misjudge you." -sigh- I'm going to walk to him , and say hello. but did I do it ? did I go up to him and say hello like I told myself? no. I didn't . why ? because. I think of him as someone different. He is, of course, a stranger to me, but not just any stranger. A stranger that makes me smile when I'm close. I tell myself that life is good. I have all the seconds I need pretty close to him to tell him hello . to start something. to make something out of nothing. It's not as easy as I thought it would be. Yes, I did lie to myself. I only did because my feelings got in the way. Now, if I didn't have feelings, nothing like this wouldve had happened, correct? OH ! guess what ?! there he is. talking to his friends, and I'm just looking at him like an idiot. I'm SURE he sees me . I walk towards his way. I walk towards his path , but on the opposite lane. when I got near. he left . One little moment as such , just made my heart sank . just made me say in my head "oh wow. what a fail day. and it just started" I guess I can't blame him fully . it's partly my fault as well because I get soo shy around him . He did tried to talk to me before, but I just get shy and avoid . :\ Like I said, he's not an average kid I see around. we all have differenct perspective of people, and his, in my eyes, is different from the rest. He isn't the best one around. he isn't the smartest , the coolest, the popularest, or the anythingest, but he is a someone. a someone . and I'm a stupid idoiot/fool for even falling for such. Why did I fall huh ? he didn't trip me. or did he ? honestly, this is why I question life . well no ,there's MUCH more other things why I question life. this, I question myself. I ask myself , "If I could go back into the past and change something ,would I? " You know my answer . of course I'd say yes. and regret what I had done. but everything in life happens for a reason, and this, even though I can't comprehend what it's trying to tell me yet , and how desparate I want to go back and acutally say hi and hug him again, I won't. Why ? because I think this did happen for a reason. and unexplainable reason.
Need a business partner / CTO / Techie / Super Geek to build beta products @ZaakCo. Tags: #Think, #Idea, #Concept, #Product, #Labs
I have this mostly untested BHAG - big, hairy, audacious goal in business lingo. The BHAG is to ideate, build and launch beta products in order to early exit (by sale or spin off). Key assumptions I am making are:
- In today's day and age, building simple "need fulfilling" products and getting a read on their performance in the market within 6-9 months is not impossible.
- Further, with the right team, this can be done for multiple product ideas one after the other.
- If you are detail oriented and a fast learner you do not need 10 years experience in a particular domain before building a product for it.
From an initial pool of a dozen ideas, I have chosen 3 concepts to start with based on their business case. These products concepts are in the ecommerce, online payments and mobile VAS spaces; 1 is for the Indian market and 2 for global customers. The intent for an early exit is not borne out of greed for $$$, it is so because building products is the most exciting part. And the more diverse products we can build, the better it is for challenging our brains @ZaakCo :) Read Requirements for business partner / CTO / Techie / Super Geek at www.zaakco.com
By 2040, You’ll Be Able To Upload Your Brain To The Matrix. I Know Kung-Fu…
By 2040, you will be able to upload your brain. This is a prediction from Futurist Ray Kurzwell from this article with more detail below:
“Just when will this ultimate life-affirming feat be possible? In Kurzwell’s estimation, we will be able to upload the human brain to a computer, capturing “a person’s entire personality, memory, skills and history”, by the end of the 2030s; humans and non-biological machines will then merge so effectively that the differences between them will no longer matter; and, after that, human intelligence, transformed for the better, will start to expand outward into the universe, around about 2045.”
Some other predictions (more at the article here):
Nano assemblers
“Basically, these are three-dimensional printers that can create a physical object from an information file and inexpensive input materials. So we could email a blouse or a toaster or even the toast. There is already an industry of three-dimensional printers, and the resolution of the devices that can be created is getting finer and finer. The nano assembler would assemble devices from molecules and molecular fragments, and is about 20 years away”
Respirocytes
“A respirocyte is a nanobot (a blood cell-sized device) that is designed to replace our biological red blood cells but is 1,000 times more capable. If you replaced a portion of your biological red blood cells with these robotic versions you could do an Olympic sprint for 15 minutes without taking a breath, or sit at the bottom of a swimming pool for four hours. These are about 20 years away” ‘
Ray knows his stuff so let’s hope he’s right. I previously blogged about Ray in an entry here where he discussed the future of virtual reality within the mind, so uploading your brain to a PC - not Mac 
- would redefine reality and even mortality. Full-on jacked in, no physical being and completely in the Matrix with no way out. Awesome.
Unacceptable Behaviour
On Tuesday, two people were added to the group I'm in for a corporate video class. The other three members of the group decided they don't like one of the two. The guy they don't like may come off as a "know-it-all" or something. Today, one girl in the group was a few minutes late. The unliked fellow said, "you're late." I'm not sure how he meant this because I wasn't in the room, but when he came into the room where I was, and the "late" girl was, she flipped out on him. Whatever; conflicts happen. He was trying to explain something, and she just wouldn't listen. She was yelling. He went back to the other room.
After a while, our professor had us all in one room. The girl stated that she didn't want the fellow in our group. The professor didn't want conflict. The fellow asked what he could possibly have done wrong in two days. Apparently he's been trying to control the group. The other group members started saying stuff against this guy too. The poor guy was pinned in a corner -THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD. NO ONE should EVER have to experience this. The professor said we're getting new groups next week.
We go into the other room to watch our finished projects on a big screen. Before the professor comes in, conflict happens again. The girl is screaming at the fellow. The fellow is obviously getting flustered. I hope he has friends that can offer him some support on this. I like all of these people; they're good people. But I don't know where she comes off thinking she can treat someone like that. She was treating him like a f**king rat; completely degrading and belittling him.
Anyway, I haven't been able to stop thinking about that all day. I feel so bad for this fellow. I wish I would have intervened, but these people like me, and it's hard for me to get people to like me. I think I just didn't want to mess that up.
I requested this fellow's friendship on Facebook. I'm hoping he'll accept so I can send him an apology.
I feel terrible.
At one time, after not being in a shitty situation like this one in a while, I read an Andy Warhol quote: "I think everybody should like everybody." At that one time, I thought, "this doesn't make sense. It's not possible or realistic." But after this experience, I'm remembering why I once would have agreed with Mr Warhol (and I agree once again). Most people don't like others because they think the other dislikes them anyway. At least publicly, everybody should like everybody.
