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So, last night was the premiere of MTV’s delicious, guido-loving, fist-pumping docu-reality series Jersey Shore, a show that’s been ruffling more than a few feathers because it supposedly builds on negative stereotypes and bad behaviors of a subset of Italian-Americans that call themselves “guidos.” But… did those haters actually watch the show? Well, I did, and I’m here to tell you it’s pretty much the bomb. (Sorry if that offends you!) Sure, it’s also pretty much complete trash—and it certainly does build on stereotypes of “guidos”—but c’mon! It’s really just harmless fun. (And if you aren’t one of these “guidos” but still can’t separate yourself from then, then… well, you’ve got bigger problems.)

 

Filed under: stereotypes

Anita Lobo says...

Girl/ 5 y.o.: I want to be an astronaut

Boy/ 8 y.o.: Girls are not astronauts, only boys go to space.

Girl: I want to play football

Boy: Girls don’t play football, only boys do

 

Overhearing this a few months ago sent up a huge red flag with me, on how early stereotypes are set.

Probably much earlier than 5, as kids watch cartoons where mummy is always making stuff in the kitchen; girls are always dolled up in pink; and boys are always super-heroes or doing cool stuff.

Turning off the TV isn’t enough of a solution.

At playgrounds, girls get shepherded to ‘safe’ games like swinging and skipping and not kicking around a football.

Well I don’t know what the big solution is, or if there is any escaping gender stereotypes at all?

So what I did was showing evidence that busted stereotypes. Simple stuff really.

Using pictures from the daily paper:

Men who are chefs and women pilots. Women who play basketball; men who figure skate. Male models and women car rallyists!

Proof that women & men can take on any role they want. I have never been more appreciative of the power of photographs!

Mythology is a great source:

Stories are powerful tools. Indian mythology is replete with stories of Kali, Parvati, Durga, Lakshmi – women goddesses who are revered. Their stories exemplify that women are powerful too!

What mom does everyday, matters most!

‘What mom does’ exerts a very big influence on a child’s notions of stereotype – both male and female.

When a child watches their mother work [home/office] and be independent, they’re far more likely to understand male-female equality in their heart as much as their mind.

A big moment for the 8 year old boy was proudly telling his friends, ‘my mom drives a car’.

A big moment for the 5 year old girl was playing football with mom and all the neighbourhood kids. And flat-out races for girls and boys together!

We all know that stereotypes set artificial limits on both girls and boys.

Limits that need to be done away with quickly, gently, firmly and early before they settle in.

The two kids are my children – and this story is yours too.

I’d love to know how you bust stereotypes.

 

Filed under: stereotypes

"As I think, my thoughts leave my head on a type of mental ticker tape. Everyone around has only to pass the type through their mind and they know my thoughts"

(Adapted from Burton, Psychiatry 2006). 

Interesting that this quote about the psychiatric delusion of thought broadcasting, could as easily be used to talk about twitter and other blog services.

Filed under: Stereotypes

Kaw says...

I'd just like to take a moment to reiterate my dislike for fairy tales in general, and Disney's portrayal of them in particular.

Women are either: puny princesses, wicked witches, sinister step-mothers or good godmothers.

Filed under: Stereotypes

Chris says...

I made this list because I thought it might be embarrataining to reveal my weirdest crushes. It turns out I have a few trends that I'd never noticed before. Can you spot them?

Remember, "That you're crazy" is not a trend.

Also, please keep in mind that I do like people of average-or-higher sexual appeal as well.

 


I'll feed you a bone, doggy.
Calibos (Clash of the Titans)
I can't explain this, although once I slept with a guy who was covered in nearly as much hair and it didn't bother me at all.

 


You can jump out of
my waterbed anytime.
Freddy Krueger
I agree, it's completely fucked up. I've told my therapist about this one. I do tend to be attracted to highly imaginative people, though.

 


Someone needs my
special ed!
Tim Roth, but only in The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover
This is the only Tim Roth character I've ever felt attracted to. Something about the fact that he moves like a developmentally disabled lemur in it, which is weird on a whole other level. He sort of half-vomits oysters at one point, and it doesn't gross me out. I know.

 


This makes me want
to watch Project Runway.
Pinhead
This is actually nowhere near as fucked up as Freddy Krueger, because really it's just all about the outfit and body mods.

 


??????
A specific voice actor from the video game Oblivion
Yes, a voice. I get a little aroused every time I hear this guy, although I have no idea who the actor is. He voices multiple characters, mostly secondary ones, throughout the game. There's a young farmer in particular that I started to develop confusing feelings for while helping him in his quest, all because of that voice. Sort of a thick, butterscotch sound. I can't explain it any better than that.

 


Where's my Armor All...
Elias Koteas in Crash
Elias is kind of the poor man's Stanley Tucci or Christopher Meloni, so he falls within a "regular attractiveness" category. But I only ever really felt an urge to bang him during Cronenberg's movie Crash, when he played the freaky fetishist who worked at the hospital. Interestingly, his sex scene with James Spader kind of creeped me out, but that could just be because I can see that James Spader is made from fish DNA, even if nobody else can.

 


I'm sorry, Twiki didn't make the cut.
(Most of) the Cast of Buck Rogers: Erin Gray, Gil Gerard, and that guy who played Hawk
This trifecta of weird erotic fixation confused me as a child, but it also (I think) led to later obsessions. For example, Hawk (Thom Christopher) is just a cleaned-up Calibos. And clearly Gil Gerard's unfortunate dress-up outfit primed me to appreciate Pinhead. The only normal one in this group is Erin Gray; I defy anyone to not have a crush on her (she's the only reason I watched Silver Spoons). What's weird about that, though, is I like dudes. She goes on the list!

 


Delivering a lecture
to my loins.
Bob Balaban
In pretty much anything, especially when he speaks in a halting, quiet manner. Bonus crush points accrue when he wears a beard and looks professorial.

 


Okay, this one might
be closer to jealousy.
Seven of Nine
But only when she was a full-blown Borg. See Pinhead and Buck Rogers. This is why I thought I might be into S&M in my youth. It turns out I just have lousy taste in leather/PVC. And that I like blue-ish skin.

 


Did you see her swallow
that guinea pig?!?
Diana in V (Jane Badler)
But only after I found out she was a lizard. Before that, she just seemed at the time like a mean teacher.

 

TRENDS I SPOTTED:
  • I'm a borderline Furry,
  • I'm attracted to bad skin (acne-scarred, burned, or reptilian), and
  • I might like Lebanese men.
CASE CLOSED.

Filed under: stereotypes

thinkagain says...

Hi girls,

Since a number of you worked on the topic of foreign workers in Singapore, I thought it might appropriate to draw your attention to what the reality is in Singapore: that foreign workers are not only marginalised in our society, but are also frequently cheated and abused to a very frightful degree.  

It is shameful to realise that a 'developed' nation like ours, and a supposedly democratic one at that, can allow such inhumane injustice to happen to the people who build our houses, shopping centres, and schools. 

You can read more here: http://theonlinecitizen.com/2009/05/worker-lured-to-mom-building-assaulted-and-possibly-to-be-repatriated/

The journalist who worked on this story also had this personal note to add to the debacle:

Andrew Loh

When I first met Abu Sama, my first thought was, "Man, it's so hot in here at Sutha's. Why is he wearing long sleeves buttoned all the way to his neck!" Sutha's is this little restaurant in Little India where aid workers would give out free meals to foreign workers who had no money to buy food. 

Abu Sama is short, with curly hair, and speaks in earnest. Shelley was the one who made his case known to me. Shelley is one of the aid workers, a woman with a relentless sense of doggedness when it comes to seeking justice for the workers.

I'd interviewed Abu Sama for a report on TOC in May this year. See here: http://theonlinecitizen.com/2009/05/worker-lured-to-mom-building-assaulted-and-possibly-to-be-repatriated/

At that time we had to give him a pseudonym as his case was being investigated by both MOM and the Police. In a nutshell, Abu Sama was the victim of an attempted kidnapping and an assault which left him with a broken ear drum, and was not paid for the work he had done for his employer.

Last week, the decision came:

The Police gave his employer a written warning. 

MOM arranged for him to be paid and sent home.

Here's the catch: His employer was not even fined for the attempted kidnapping and the assault. And Abu Sama was not fully paid his salary. 

But the saddest thing is this: Abu Sama is not the only worker who has gone through these abuses - and he won't be the last. 

With the Police meting out such lenient "punishment" to abusive employers, employers who break the law and then take it into their own hands, why on earth would any employer be afraid? After cheating Abu Sama - and workers like him - of thousands of dollars in fees for bringing him here, then kick him out after assaulting him, and refuse to pay him his full salary, AND THEN TO HAVE THE LAW BE TOTALLY AND UTTERLY USELESS in bringing the employer to justice, why would any employer or agent play fair???

This is why the abuse continues, the scams continue, the employers becoming richer and richer continues, MOM's stupidity and inertia continue, and the freaking police can only stand and watch!!

Each worker forks out an average of S$10,000 to pay agents to bring them here to Singapore. Just do the maths. 100 workers = S$1,000,000.

Bring in 1,000 workers and it is s$10,000,000.

And all you have to do after you've brought them to S'pore is to house them in run-down, ramshackle, unliveable accomodations. You don't even have to find them work. Just house them, give them two cheap meals a day of plain rice and some curry. If the men make noise, threaten them with deportation or repatriation. (And there are repatriation companies you can employ to do this! All legal! They can physically abuse the men, beat them, whack them, punch them, slap them, or IF all these do not work, force them into a van, drive straight to Changi airport and force them onto a plane - and do it in the middle of the night when less people are around! AND THIS IS ALL LEGAL!)

Before long, you find that the men are obedient. They are scared. And they keep quiet.

For to endure such abuses is nothing - compared to what they'd face if they were deported back to Bangladesh. First, the shame of facing their families, wives, children, neighbours, fellow villagers. You won't know what to do as you look at their faces, knowing that you are responsible for their having sold the family land, or the jewellery, in order to keep your promise that you're going to S'pore to make their lives better. In the end you return and make their lives hell.

Then, you'll have to face the people you borrowed from - the loansharks, your fellow villagers who all pinned their hopes on you, gave you money, or your good friends who lent you money so you can do the right thing. In the end, you come back with nothing. Loansharks threaten you and your family - or if you've no other choice, to become their slaves, to work off your debt - which will take the rest of your lives, and maybe your family members' too.

And so, the terror of being deported is more frightening than a punch or a kick from your employer or his thugs. And so you hold on. You hang in there. You believe you will find justice. After all, Singapore is country well-known for law and order.

You hold on - until you cannot anymore. You run to the law. "Yes, everyone in Singapore abides by the law. The S'pore govt is strict about the law. They even have laws against chewing gum or not flushing toilets! The Singapore govt will help me."

But it does not.

All it is interested in is Public Relations - have to protect S'pore's international reputation, even if it's made out of cardboards. And so, MOM makes a show of helping to "settle salary disputes" - and turns a blind eye to physical abuses. Thats' the police's purview.

And so you go to MOM. You are called into a room, and you see your employer there. MOM speaks to your employer in English, which you do not understand a word of. After a while, MOM says, "Ok, here's the deal. your employer will pay you $300. Half now, half at the airport before you board the plane back to Bangladesh." You're desperate. Your family back home is desperate for your money, however little, to survive. It's been 4 months, 5 months, 8 months. And so you accept. You sign the agreement paper.

MOM smiles. Another statistic to add to the Dispute Settled list. Good to show the public how many we have settled this way. No details, of course. Just the numbers.

You go to the airport. At night. You sit and wait. You have heard stories of employers who do not show up. And you've no choice to board the plane - without the rest of the $300. But you're lucky this time. The employer sends his henchmen. Henchmen calls you to him. "Here's you money," he says as he hands you S$50. You protest. "MOM say $300. $150 already give. Now must give another $150!" Henchmen threatens you. "Don't f****** argue with me! Take it and go!" as he curses swear words at you which you do not understand.

Your heart sinks. You make one last desperate attempt at retrieving your rightful salary. You call boss on the phone. "Boss, MOM say $300. You give $150. Now must give another $150. Why only give $50?" you ask. "DON'T CALL ME OK!!" comes the booming voice of your boss, a f****** coward who does not even go to the airport to deliver the $50 himself. "But boss..." "DON'T F****** CALL ME, UNDERSTAND!! TAKE THE MONEY AND GO! GO!" The phone goes dead.

Your heart bleeds. Your mind swirls. fear catches you - again. Nah, not fear. This time, it is utter helplessness you feel. 

Yes, death would be less painful.

--------------------

And so the exploitation goes on. Every day. Every month. Every year.

It continues.

You see your employer opening up discotheques with the money he conned off of you. Not one discotheque. Two. AND IT'S ALL LEGAL.

---------------------

When the two Integrated Resorts eventually open, or when the Singtel Formula One race starts, or the next time you see a spanking new shopping mall, or when the Circle Line finally fully opens, or when you walk into your brand new upgraded lift which stops at every floor.....

Remember workers like Abu Sama.

You are enjoying their sorrow.

----------------------

Filed under: stereotypes

thinkagain says...

Hi everyone,

Just to follow up on the topic of body image that we were discussing: http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/blogs/vitamin-g/2009/08/on-the-cl-the-picture-you-cant.html

On the C.L.: The Picture You Can't Stop Talking About: Meet "the Woman on p. 194"

Monday, 08/17/2009 at 12:15 PM820 Comments

It's a photo that measures all of three by three inches in our September issue, but the letters about it started to flood my inbox literally the dayGlamour hit newsstands. (As editor-in-chief, I pay attention to this stuff!) "I am gasping with delight...I love the woman on p 194!" said one...then another, and another, andanotherandanotherandanother. So...who is she? And what on earth is so special about her?

Here's the deal: The picture wasn't of a celebrity. It wasn't of a supermodel. It was of a woman sitting in her underwear with a smile on her face and a belly that looks...wait for it...normal.

0814-lizzie-miller_vg.jpg

The "woman on p. 194." Gorgeous!

 


I'd loved this photo at first sight myself--we'd commissioned it for a story on feeling comfortable in your skin, and wanted a model who looked like she was. But even so, the letters blew me away: "the most amazing photograph I've ever seen in any women's magazine," wrote one reader in Pavo, Georgia. From another in Somerset, Massachusetts: "This beautiful woman has a real stomach and did I even see a few stretch marks? This is how my belly looks after giving birth to my two amazing kids! This photo made me want to shout from the rooftops."

The emails were filled with such joy--joy at seeing a woman's body with all the curves and quirks and rolls found in nature. (Raising a question: With all the six-packs out there, do you even know what a normal bellylooks like anymore--other than the one you see in the mirror?)

So what's the story behind the photo? "The woman on p. 194" is actually 20-year-old model Lizzi Miller, and this is her second appearance inGlamour, shot by fashion photographer Walter Chin. A size 12-14 and avid softball player/belly dancer ("I like exercising when it's fun"), Lizzi moved to New York City from San Jose three years ago to become a model (a "plus-size" one by modeling industry standards, though hello, at size 12 she's actually "normal size"...but I digress).

"When I was young I really struggled with my body and how it looked because I didn't understand why my friends were so effortlessly skinny," Lizzi told me. "As I got older I realized that everyone's body is different and not everyone is skinny naturally--me included! I learned to love my body for how it is, every curve of it. I used to be so self-conscious in a bikini because my stomach wasn't perfectly defined. But everyone has different body shapes! And it's not all about the physical! If you walk on the beach in your bikini with confidence and you feel sexy, people will see you that way too."

As for the letters, Lizzi's loving them. "When I read them I got teary-eyed!" she says. "I've been that girl, flipping through magazines trying to find just one person who looked a little bit like me. And when I didn't find it I would start to think there's something wrong with the way that I looked. When J. Lo and Beyoncé came out and were making curves sexy, I started to accept myself more. It's funny, but just seeing them look and feel sexy enabled me to do the same." Lizzi, now you're doing the same for all of us--massive congrats on that.

We had some rollicking debates in this blog last week about "fattism" andthe TV shows for plus-size women. So let's start off this week with something we can all get behind: a toast to the woman on p. 194, and to the spectacular sexiness of owning who you are. Trust me, Glamour's listening, and this only strengthens our commitment to celebrating all kinds of beauty.

Now tell me...what do you think of the picture? Can a photo make youfeel better or worse about your own looks? And what kinds of images would you like to see more of in Glamour?

UPDATE: I continue to be amazed by all of your thoughtful comments below, as does Lizzi; to watch her take on readers' reactions to her photo, check out our recent appearance on The Today Show.

Speaking of body image...

The Body Diaries: 3 Things That Trigger My Worst Body-Image Days
Quiz: Do You Have a Healthy Body Image?
What No One Ever Tells You About Losing Weight

Filed under: stereotypes

thinkagain says...

Pay attention to the last two paragraphs...

http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking+News/Singapore/Story/STIStory_415888.html

Filed under: stereotypes

thinkagain says...

Thought u might be interested in reading some further material regarding the ethics of media representation in society:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8181499.stm

Look also at the related stories in the column on the right.

Filed under: stereotypes

thinkagain says...

Filed under: stereotypes