I get myself into trouble sometimes because I use humor, sarcasm and witty snap backs usually to express some critical comment. My bio is true ...
"Sometimes nit-picky & critical, “secretly” feeling he handles matters better than others"
How ironic.
Do As I Say Not As I Do
Know When To Be Serious And When To Let Up
Don’t Let Teasing Get Out Of Hand
Beware Of Third-Party Rivalries
Act With Consideration To All
Is there something about the boy brain that forces them to get stuck in loops? I really hope this is the case, because it is hard to believe that they are actually trying to be so damn annoying. Sure, perhaps it is not all boys. But right now I don't care; I only want to know what the heck it is that makes them say the same "funny" word over and over again for like, 18 years. Or sing the same song. Or make the "funny" word into a "funny" song and sing it in the morning in a voice similar to Kermit the frog before I have had a coffee. Plus, what is with all that energy? Just calm your frenetic self down. And stop calling me "cynical" and "grumpy" - why are you laughing? Good grief. I am going back to bed. And please, for the love of god, be quiet.
| I have just reached the 100 Site Visits mark here at Posterous! I can't believe it, I am absolutely beside myself right now (note to self: lose some weight). Anyway, I just want to thank everyone who helped make this possible. I am going to treat myself to a mini Almond Joy bar right now (ignoring previous note to self)! So what if it's the candy we're supposed to hand out for Halloween. Screw 'em -- I've earned it. This is almost like Twitter! Well, divided by a billion. |
I wish I was a new/social media thought and conversation leader like all those other guys and gals, then I'd be able to go to those innumerable swanky conferences and hob-nob with the new mediaratti over coffee and sandwiches.
OTOH, I already have a real job doing just that instead of self referentially talking about it all over the internets to the boredom of just about everyone.Oh just join in the sarcasm with me for this one. I realize the once in a while crass of my nature.
Want your future baby to look like a star? You have the choice! At the California Cryobank you can see the potential hotness [yes, defined by looks] of your li'l tike with the click of a mouse.
From the site: "Researched and selected from the limitless expanses of the internet, CCB Donor Look-a-Likes™ can be actors, athletes, musicians, or anyone else famous enough to be found on the web... CCB Donor Look-a-Likes™ are judged to be the best of our subjective abilities." And "while some banks charge extra for their "preferred" donors, CCB donors are all premium level, each possessing excellent health histories and unique individual interests and talents." Fantastic! Looks and spotless health.
But what's health! Does this mean future parents will never have to worry that their celebrity-esque tots will ever have cardiovascular diseases? And never worry of the costs of addictions or bouts of lonely here and there? Wait... Where does the great literature come from then? Is that in the "interests and talents?" Must be. Wow. What more could we ask for?
Oh yes: geniuses. But the Biopolitical Times Blog brings up the discussion that this may prove more "successful" than the Nobel Sperm Bank of ghost past. But the reasoning: "Given America’s obsession with celebrity and appearance, it wouldn’t be entirely surprising if companies pushing celebrity knock-off sperm see more demand than the Nobel sperm bank."
Now. I find this a wee bit off. To think that Americans are the only ones that value looks is just downright unfair. While we are on this wagon: all of the great models come from Eastern Europe where they never eat and from the north of Latin America where plastic surgery is booming. Italy and France adore fashion which is by definition adoring hot looks. India has the new Hollywood, and we know what that brings: celebrities! I could also go on about China - they've got the web, too, probably censoring out the bad lookers anyway - and Southeast Asia and the look of the sex worker... but that might be in poor taste.
In short, I wonder in earnest, where exactly are the culture lines in hotness?
Partially related. Attraction at a glance is how species procreate. Evolution is neat like that. No biggy. (biologists, forgive the simplification) But I know there's a cult following for smarties. And we all know that cult followings are where the cool is. Ref: Blade Runner. But that's quite another post, isn't it. And it probably exists.
| You probably think those self-checkout stands at the grocery store were born out of labor cost-cutting intentions. But I think the real reason is hemorrhoids.
Or more specifically, products like hemorrhoid ointments. Because I for one don't want to have another human being ring up these products for me, much less exchange awkward glances with the shoppers in line behind me. And don't even try explaining they're for someone else. No one believes that. So thank God for the self checkout. Now I can safely purchase Preparation-H, dandruff shampoo, a crab lice comb, stool softener, heavy-flow tampons, jock itch spray, and a disposable enema in peace.
Umm, for my friend that is! The only thing that's mine is this pack of gum.
|
"Apparently you don’t know how much work I do with the French. See, that’s what happens when you’re NOT drunk and don’t feel like finding out what’s going on in my life. I think I will just start buying a bottle of scotch right when I get off the plane at Laguardia"
That is what my sister would like to infer to as sarcasm, in which I play the role of the drunk. Yeah really funny she thougth and my respond was nothing short of anger. So I had to think of something clever and the best way to explain to her that " Sarcasm is a veiled attempt of human insincerity" (onedrunkboy quote and onedrunkboyism). If the antagonist tells you otherwise, it's an attempt on their part to further mask their own insecurities and cowardice to just come out and say what they fucking mean any way. It's the old addage, DON"T FUCKING PISS DOWN MY BACK AND TELL ME IT"S RAININg.
