so i am officially the top sales person of the month as of this week. this is the first time ever since i started this job two months ago. i saw the board at work and was struck speechless, not because i don't know what to say, but more because the two sides of me are in battle right now.
the conversation went a little like this today:
spiritual rooter persona: "greattt job lady. i'm giving you a giant pat on the back!!"
anti-establishment rebel: "psshhh! whatever, i'm totally above this."
srp: "stop being so aloof you douche. you're proud of yourself and you know it!"
aer: "whatever you say. i could care less."
srp: "shut up. you SOOO care."
aer. "nooo....i don't care about insignificant things like this. i mean, it's not like i'm saving dying orphans or finding a cure for cancer or..."
srp: "youuu soooo care. you just did a little victory dance in your head.
aer: "nooooo...i don't dance."
srp: "lol. you so do. and you can shut up now and just celebrate, dammit!"
but the truth of the matter is this - i am strangely satisfied by this minute achievement. i feel like besides the obvious fact that i'm damn good at my job (ha!), i have finally decided to be an adult and accept the life that has been given to me/i have chosen.
srp: "and from here on out, things can only get better!"
aer: *grunt* it better.