Build Your Self Confidence Like a Leader

2:38 PM Friday October 30, 2009

This week's question for Ask the Coach:

What can I do to build my confidence in my capabilities as a leader?

You won't get to the top without self-confidence; to build it, you have to believe in yourself. Don't worry about being perfect — put up a brave front and do the best you can. That's it in a nutshell. Here's a little more background for you.

Last year, as I often do, I taught a seminar for MBA students at the University of California at Berkeley's Haas School of Business. A second-year student approached me and told me he'd read my book What Got You Here Won't Get You There. "In the book you talk about classic challenges faced by your clients," he said. "I noticed that you never discuss self-confidence problems. How do you deal with your client's self-confidence problems?"

This question really made me think. I rarely encounter self-confidence problems in my work with CEOs and potential CEOs. It is almost impossible to make it to the top level in a multibillion-dollar corporation if you do not believe in yourself. On the other hand, I am frequently asked to speak at business schools, and I have noticed that students in my seminars often want to talk about it.

This is such an important topic. I thought I would share a few suggestions about how you can build your self-confidence. I also hope you, my readers, will offer your own suggestions.

1. Don't worry about being perfect. There are never right or wrong answers to complex business decisions. The best that you can do as a leader is to gather all of the information that you can (in a timely manner), do a cost-benefit analysis of potential options, use your best judgment — and then go for it.

2. Learn to live with failure. Great salespeople are the ones who get rejected the most often. They just ask for the order more than the other salespeople. You are going to make mistakes. You are human. Learn from these mistakes and move on.

3. After you make the final decision — commit! Don't continually second-guess yourself. Great leaders communicate with a sense of belief in what they are doing and with positive expectations toward the achievement of their vision.

4. Show courage on the outside — even if you don't always feel it on the inside. Everyone is afraid sometimes. If you are a leader, your direct reports will read your every expression. If you show a lack of courage, you will begin to damage your direct reports' self-confidence.

5. Find happiness and contentment in your work. Life is short. My extensive research indicates that we are all going to die anyway. Do your best. Follow your heart. When you win, celebrate. When you lose, just start over the next day.

I hope you will you share your suggestions for building self-confidence with me and with each other by sending comments. Thank you!

Mullenweg: 10 blogs to make you think

By Matt Mullenweg, Special to CNN

November 11, 2009 8:38 a.m. EST

Matt Mullenweg, co-founder of WordPress, recommends some of his favorite blogs.

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

• WordPress's CEO offers CNN a list of his favorite blogs
• WordPress is a popular free blogging platform
• Matt Mullenweg says there are 100 million blogs online today
• He recommends 10 favorites, and a Twitter feed, that will "make you think"

Relatively new at this - I feel the info overload, as evident by the relentless number of hours I spend in front of the computer trying to read/learn/soak as much as I can.

I've followed Tim Ferriss' 4HWW Blog as well as the XKCD for some time now and more recently came across 37 Signals' and YC's Blogs as well - All very good reads!

See inside my home

Welcome.      Come on in. My name is Jay Shafer and since 1997 I have been living in houses smaller than some people’s closets. I call the first of my little hand built houses Tumbleweed. My decision to inhabit just 89 square feet arose from some concerns I had about the impact a larger house would have on the environment, and because I do not want to maintain a lot of unused or unusable space. My houses have met all of my domestic needs without demanding much in return. The simple, slower lifestyle my homes have afforded is a luxury for which I am continually grateful. Read more…

Wow, I can't imagine living in just 89 sq ft. Although my current studio+loft apt of approx 400+ sq ft seems very spacious.
Jay Shafer has taken on the challenge within himself from an environmental point of view, of living on minimal resources and within certain means. He builds and lives in his tiny/small homes
His blog chronicles his adventures, certain tips and challenges he's come across as well as other peoples' attempt at some similar feats.

I've tried to maintain a minimalist mentality over the last year or so - it's helped me get rid of unnecessary clothes in my wardrobe (spread across 2 closets and a loft), junk around my apartment at college or even around my house.

Example: Before buying a new piece of clothing (which I've started doing so only within the past few weeks) I think of what article of clothing it will replace in my wardrobe.
I've donated bags full of clothing articles and sold a bunch more on eBay. In fact, there's been so much stuff that midway through the process I got lazy and didn't finish selling some of the stuff I put aside to let go of. I'm getting back to it now though.

My approach was more so from the point of view that everything carries a certain energy and I felt that clutter around me would only clutter my thoughts more. Also, if I couldn't be happy with less, I'll never be happy with more. Being grateful for the things I have, the people who I come across and esp. my friends & family can be attributed to the transformation.

How Chipotle, Pinkberry, and others win big by doing just a few things well 

The dirty little secret about simple: It’s actually hard to do. That’s why most people make complex stuff. Simple requires deep thought, discipline, and patience – things that many companies lack. That leaves room for you. Do something simpler than your competitors and you’ll win over a lot of people.

There are only three major items on Chipotle’s menu: burritos, tacos, and salads. In Chipotle’s Secret Salsa, Founder and CEO Steve Ells sums up its business model in a single sentence: “Focus on just a few things, and do them better than anybody else.”

One thing you won’t find at Chipotle is dessert. Restaurant analysts say a cookie or other dessert at the end of the food line could instantly boost sales by 10 percent or more there. Ells doesn’t care. “We’ve had 10 years of double-digit comps in a row, and we’ve done that without cookies,” he says. “So why start now? I see only the downside to adding cookies.”

The yogurt chain Pinkberry started off by selling only two flavors of yogurt: original and green tea. That meant fewer worries about inventory, machinery, recipes, and other complications that would have resulted from selling a variety of products. Instead the company focused on flavor. It’s now a chain with dozens of stores and devout fans who refer to the yogurt as “Crackberry.” (Ever think about how your product would sound with “crack” as a prefix?)

This isn’t just for restaurants either. Nintendo has won big by doing less than competitors. The Flip has won a big percentage of the camcorder market by doing less. Fixed-gear bikes have been growing in popularity due to their simple, low-maintenance design.

You can try to win a features arms race by offering everything under the sun. Or you can just focus on a couple of things and do ‘em really well and get people who really love those things to love your product. For little guys, that’s a smarter route.

When you choose that path, you get clarity. Everything is simpler. It’s simpler to explain your product. It’s simpler for people to understand. It’s simpler to change it. It’s simpler to maintain it. It’s simpler to start using it. The ingredients are simpler. The packaging is simpler. Supporting it is simpler. The manual is simpler. Figuring out your message is simpler. And most importantly, succeeding is simpler.

The companies mentioned, have it and I, as an individual, strive for it.

Kaizen (改善) means "improvement" — "kai" (改) means change/make better, and "zen" (善) means good — but as the term is used as a business process it more closely resembles in English “continuous improvement.” Kaizen is one of the keys to the steady improvement and innovation found at successful companies in Japan such as Toyota. Says Matthew May, in his book The Elegant Solution: Toyota’s Formula for Mastering Innovation, “Kaizen is one of those magical concepts that is at once a philosophy, a principle, a practice, and a tool.” Though Kaizen is a tool used by corporations to achieve greater innovation, productivity, and general excellence, it’s also an approach, an approach that we can learn from and apply to our own lives as we strive for continuous improvement on a more personal level. We can call this “Personal Kaizen.” Others have applied the personal kaizen approach to personal efficiency or GTD. You too can take the spirit of kaizen and apply it to your own unique personal kaizen approach to improve — step-by-step, little-by-little — your design mindfulness, knowledge, and skill.

Long-term commitment
The overriding principles of kaizen is that it is daily, continuous, steady, and it takes the long-term view. Kaizen also requires a commitment and a strong willingness to change. I suggest you incorporate these principles into your own personal kaizen approach to learning all you can about design and visual communication over the long term. The interesting thing about kaizen is that big, sudden improvements are not necessary. Instead, what is important is that you’re always looking for ideas — including even the smallest of things — that you can build on. Tiny improvements are OK; over the long-term these add up to great improvements. Each journey begins with a single step — this too is a precept inherent in Kaizen. Keep moving forward.

No end to improvement
There is an old saying that goes “Once you think you have arrived, you have already started your descent.” One must never think they "have arrived." In the West we say "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." But the spirit of kaizen suggests that there is always something to learn and ways to improve, and that it is also better to prevent problems than to fix them. So, no matter how good things may seem now, there is always room for improvement, and looking to improve every day is what the spirit of personal kaizen is all about. It’s not about how far you have come or how far you have yet to go, it is only about this moment and being open to seeing the lessons around you, and possessing the capacity and willingness to learn and improve. There are many small things you can do to increase your design mindfulness and skills over time. Here are 15 tips in no particular order.

(1) Keep an analog scrapbook of design examples you find. From napkins to paper cups to business cards and brochures, flyers, and posters — whatever you find remarkable (good or bad) and fits inside a folder, a box, or a scrapbook. From time to time, review the contents of your analog examples and reflect on what works (and what doesn’t) and why. This activity is even better in a group where people occasionally come together and share their scrapbook contents with others in a kind of “examples of design show and tell.”

(2) Keep a digital scrapbook in the form of an online photo blog — either private or open to anyone to view — where you log all the examples of design you find of interest. Usually you can take a snap and then upload it to your blog right from your phone.

(3) Get out of your comfort zone. Participate in something creative that others may think is out of character for you. If you’re always comfortable, you probably are not growing. Dare to be weird (at least sometimes).

(4) Keep stimulating the "right side" of your brain by learning a musical instrument, or rediscovering the instrument you used to play. Playing music is one of those creative “whole mind” activities that will enrich your life (and work). You are never too old to learn to play an instrument.

(5) Read books on graphic design, typography, color, photography, documentary film making, and even architecture and other areas of design — you never know where the design lessons are to be found.

(6) Take some time to examine the packages in stores regardless of whether or not you are interested in the product. What catches your eye as you walk through a shop? Nothing is by accident — what were the designers trying to communicate with the package?

(7) Learn to draw by taking a class using the methods of Betty Edwards (or buy her books and videos). Get Dan Roam’s The Back of the Napkin and learn how to draw and talk at the same time at the whiteboard.

(8) Learn to take better photos. Since you'll be taking so many snaps to learn from and to share, why not get much better at the art of photography? Scott Kelby's books may be a good place to start. You don't have to become as good as the pros, but you can get much, much better. Learn what separates the great photos from the ordinary. The lessons from photography will help in your general guest to become a better visual thinker.

(9) Take an art class at the local community college or university. Don’t worry that it may not have “obvious applications for work.” The art — whatever it is — will teach you lessons about seeing and communicating through form. All you need to do is practice and enjoy the journey. You’ll find, perhaps unexpectedly, that there were indeed lessons in there that you later applied to your own work or personal life.

(10) Go for long walks alone (with ability to record your observations). As you walk, if an idea snaps into your head or you notice something that stimulates your imagination, use the voice recorder in your phone (or other device) to record the idea. It may seem odd, but I often even go jogging with my iPhone just in case I need to take a snap of something remarkable or an idea comes to mind that I need to record instantly. Besides relieving stress and keeping you fit, exercise seems to stimulate ideas. Record those ideas when possible in a way easiest for you.

(11) Get completely unplugged and off the grid — no iPhones or BlackBerrys, etc. — and go for a walk, a hike, a bike ride, or whatever it is that allows you slow your busy mind. And what if that brilliant idea hits you and you can’t record it in any way or take a picture of a remarkable example? Don’t worry about it. Getting off the grid and freeing up your mind (and pockets) is necessary too.

(12) Make it a point to watch TED videos on line, especially those related to design and creativity; many of the presenters also use very effective, well-designed visuals. Subscribe to the TED RSS feed or follow TED on Twitter. Don't forget that many presentations have been translated.

(13) Go for walks in nature with a keen eye for the balance and the colors, lines, shapes, etc. that most people never pay attention to. What visual lessons can you get by stopping to look both at the whole and then zooming in to look at the particular? There is much to be learned by careful observation of nature. Artists already do this, but we can too.

(14) Teach others what you learn. One of the best ways to deepen and solidify your new knowledge is to teach it to others. Give a presentation, run a seminar, teach a class, or volunteer to run a small internal workshop to teach others in your organization what you are learning. Real learning occurs when you share it.

(15) Share your new knowledge and passion about design in a short presentation at your local Pecha Kucha Night, Ignite night, TEDx conference, Users Group meeting, or even your local Toastmasters meeting, and other associations. The more you share and the more you get out to these events, the more you learn.

There are many more things you can do to continuously improve and grow over the long-term. What are some of the things that work for you? I also asked this question on Posterous — checkout the good suggestions by others there as well.

Related books
• One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way
• The Toyota Way

SS: A nice read, I feel like we know all these things but that it's hard to put them all together...

Via Holy Kaw!

9 Secrets of Truly Happy People

It’s pretty safe to say that at the end of the day, there are really only one or two things that truly matter. Making money, finding fame or prestige, owning the right toys – if you’re honest, these things are not the be-all end-all, are they? Wouldn’t you agree that your ultimate intention in life is to live well and be happy?

Of course the definition of those two things can and should differ wildly from person to person. For you, happiness might be directly related to achieving a certain self-assigned purpose. Or it could be about nothing more than relaxing and enjoying the company of those closest to you. And there’s no right or wrong here, not by any means. But here’s what is true – if you don’t take the time to think about what would make you happy and put steps into place to direct your mind, body, and spirit in that direction, then there’s a fair chance you’ll never get there.

I’ve been lucky enough to meet some truly happy people over the years, and believe me, there are definite secrets to their success in this area. Let’s take a look!

1. They know what really matters
   It’s so easy to become swept up in a busy life, isn’t it? People jump hurdles just to convince themselves that it's time to work on those all important and possibly life-changing goals, then they wake up one day and realize 10 years has passed.

   The truth is that it’s hard enough to commit to doing what’s really important even if you know what ‘it’ is. I’ve come across two great techniques for this - the first is a little morbid, but it really does work. Think about what is going to matter to you on your deathbed. Is it a close relationship with family and friends? Is it bucket-loads of money stashed all over the world? The prestige of having reached a certain level within your career or business? Worldwide fame and acclaim? What is it that would make you proud of yourself? Happy with the way you’ve lived your life?

   Write a shortlist of at least 10 points. Secondly, think about and write down 10 goals that you’d like to have achieved a year from now. I just re-did this little exercise myself; it was extremely motivating. Try to address every important area of your life – a few suggestions would include finances, relationships, work, living environment, health and fitness.

Choose just 2-3 important projects for each year
It’s great to have a nice long list of goals but the truth is that dreaming too big can set you up for failure. Your life is busy enough as it is. I’ve heard it said that most people dramatically overestimate what they can achieve in a year, and underestimate what they can achieve in a decade. While it would be nice to complete all your goals in their entirety each year, it’s probably not going to happen. Sorry. But think about this – what if you were guaranteed to accomplish just 3 of those goals. To finally get your body to where you want it to be, to pay off your debts completely and start saving, to start your dream business, etc. How incredible would that be? Wouldn’t you be so darn proud of yourself?

In my experience it’s realistic to choose just 2-3 really big projects for each 12-month period. You can have a bunch of smaller things on the go as well, of course. Take a moment now and review your goal list – which 3 things would make the most dramatic difference to your life?

They put time aside for them each day
You’re never going to find time to do everything on your list. As fast as you manage to check things off (and let’s face it, even that doesn’t happen every day), new things will be added by you, by your family, by your work. You just can’t stop the onslaught and the faster you accept this, the easier your life will become. The good news, however, is that you can always find time for the most important things - even if it’s just for 10 minutes.

When you wake up each morning, invest 5-10 minutes in planning your day. What really matters today? What is the most important thing that you can do for yourself? For your family? For your career? When you look at your task list you’ll notice that some things are definite ‘A’s in terms of importance, in terms of how they relate back to your goals. Yet strangely they are often the tasks left till later. It’s easy to start the day with emails, social networking, and admin. But it ain’t gonna change your life. Commit to 30 days of doing first things first every single day. This should generally relate directly to one of your 3 big projects. I guarantee that in doing this you will be able to watch your life slowly change.

They surround themselves with people who motivate, inspire or build them up
Did you know that you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with? One of my mentor’s said this to me at the start of the year and it really stuck in my head. I’ve heard much the same thing said in other ways by other great people, and let’s face it – it just makes sense. The people you surround yourself with, the books you read, the courses you participate in, the shows you watch – all of these are a sure predictor of where you’re going to be 5 years from now. So where are you headed?

It might be time to re-evaluate just who or what you let influence you. If you can’t identify people in your life who you aspire to be like financially, or in business, or indeed in any aspect of life, then it’s time to look around for some new friends. Paying a good mentor or coach is one way of doing this, but regularly reading and learning from uplifting blogs is definitely another very useful method, and one that I’ve used to great benefit.

Happy people eat well
Kinda obvious, I know, and yet somehow healthy eating still seems to so often fall by the wayside as soon as we become busy, or stressed, or, well, hungry. Or is that just me? Eating well is about so much more than optimal health, disease prevention, and maintaining a certain look. It’s the foundation of every aspect of your being. The foods that you eat directly affect your body’s ability to produce hormones, for example. Your hormones, in turn, directly affect your moods, your mental focus, your energy, your rationality, your ability to make important decisions and your libido. Not to mention your metabolism and the way in which your body stores or sheds fat. Suffice to say, investing the time and energy into planning a healthy diet pays off a thousand fold when it comes to true happiness.

Simple rules to follow include cutting out processed or packaged foods (this includes white flour products – all of them), reading labels (avoid synthetic chemicals, trans fats, sodium, and added sugar), eating smart fats at every meal (oily fish, extra virgin olive oil, coconut oil, organic meats), including animal protein where at all possible, and loading up on green veg. For more information on healthy eating, check out the following great posts on this site:

The 11 Most Important Rules For Healthy Eating...Yes, Most Important

How To Maintain A Healthy Lifestyle When You're Too Busy To Care

How to Find Time to Cook Healthy Meals

They take time to play or to just ‘be’
It’s fairly safe to say that the average kid is happier with themselves than the average adult. And they’re certainly not afraid to take time out to play or just be. In fact, it’s encouraged! When did this stop being okay for us? Think about it for a moment – how long has it been since you’ve ‘gone out to play’? Most of the entertainment or time out in our lives is scheduled long in advance, highly structured, and often involves the need to dress formal and act like a grown up. Bor-ing. What’s more, it’s generally the first thing we sacrifice if things suddenly become hectic.

Here’s a tip – it’s okay to have spontaneous fun. Once in a while you should play hooky from work or your business and just do whatever you darn well please. Fly a kite, throw a Frisbee, or (my fave) just lie on your back in a sunny park and day-dream. If the idea of unplanned fun scares you a little then you’re just going to have to schedule it to begin with. But think outside the square – grown up play can be just as simple and cheap as child’s play, and it could be more enjoyable than those swish restaurant nights out. Funnily enough, right after I finished writing this post I read Leo Babauta’s latest post on Zen Habits, and it adds some great detail to this point. Check it out here – How To Be Childlike

They learn not to make excuses, justify, or cop out
Sometimes life happens and the best made plans are laid to waste (and there’s nothing you can do about it). Fair enough, but what isn’t so fair on your own success or happiness is when you fall into a pattern of constantly excusing your lazy behavior – even if only to yourself. Over the years as a personal trainer I’ve noticed there is one very clear distinction between those who get great results and those who don’t – the ability to make excuses or cop out. “I had to pick up the kids; I had a headache; I had period pains; I didn’t feel well; my boss kept me back; I slept through my alarm; I just didn’t have time”.

When something is important to you, you’ll make time. If even for just a few minutes. You’ll make it part of your life; part of who you are. And you won’t even have to consider whether or not you’ll do it – it will just happen. And the best part of that? Nothing beats the feeling of making a commitment to yourself and keeping it. Week in, week out. Believe me, that’s well worth any sacrifice you have to make.

Happy people take time to be grateful – for themselves and for others
I can’t remember where I first came across the concept of a grateful list, but it’s been hugely effective in helping me to gain perspective over the past few years. And that’s even though I rarely remember to add to it. (Note to self)! It’s very simple, really – all you need to do is write a list of things you’re grateful for. If you’re consumed by stress and worry this can be tough to do, but so much the more effective.

Start with the obvious – you’re alive. You have a roof over your head. You can read and write. You have internet access. You have clothes on your back. This stuff gets the ball rolling, but where it really makes you sit back and think is when you can find little things to be grateful for. For example (and I battle with this one a fair bit) – choose to be grateful for having someone in your life when so many don’t after you have a big argument with a loved one who just won’t see your side. Decide to say thank-you when things get tough at work – maybe it’s just the wake-up call you need to find something you really love. If you’re a freelancer and your work is rejected yet again, decide that it’s a positive thing – it means you’re one step closer to success. Edison failed over 1,000 times before successfully creating the light-bulb. What else can you be grateful for? It’s important to acknowledge yourself here as well – the fact that you got out of bed the past 365 days, the times when you did that workout you didn’t want to do, or followed through on some important but previously procrastinated task.

Learn to appreciate the little things and the rest will follow.

They get something done
At the end of the day, nothing really matters except that which you make important. Whether it’s family or friends, making money, pursuing your hobby or dreams, honing and toning your body. The choice is yours. But regardless of what it is that you think will make you happy, it all comes down to action. Choosing to get involved in your own life. Realizing that life is now and then taking steps to make your life what you want it. Deciding that you’re somebody who says “this is what’s going to happen” rather than wakes up 10 years from now and says “what the heck just happened!”. And if you’re going to be that person (the first one), then now is the time to decide that. To think about what you truly value, to commit your dreams or goals to paper, and then to get something done. Anything – but today. Because really, tomorrow never comes. Does it? So you might as well live life now.

My recommendation? Don’t ask too much of yourself. You’re not going to feel happy or at peace by trying to adhere to a strict set of goals or ideals – mine or anyone else’s. But it just might be worth trying one of the above steps today. And another tomorrow. And so on. Who knows where this process will take you? I’d say it’s worth a shot, wouldn’t you?