Fair warning, this is more of an internalized discussion written down, appropriate caveats on misinterpretations apply.
While I feel that American Exceptionalism is being apathetically eroded into guilt-ridden mediocrity, this post is going to focus on the beginnings of a sort of depressing epiphany that I’ve stubbornly fought against for the better part of my nearly 2 decade career in computing, far preferring a bloody head over what I, personally, deem an ethical compromise of commitment.
Until now.
Based on personal observation and comparison of peer experiences, exceptionalism is neither encouraged nor rewarded in corporate computing. I’m sure the odd corporate computing environment exists out there where this may not be the case, but a very odd duck it will be.
HealthCare IT, regardless of talks of reform and funding, sadly suffers from the same issue that cancerously gnaws at the heart of ingenuity and innovation in corporate computing, but writ larger.
Unfortunately, HealthCare IT seems to have further devolved into purchasing disparate solutions and cramming them into weak integration platforms, repeated ad infinitum with insufficient focus on first, defining the problem, then designing the solution, before creating or purchasing or integrating anything. The tumor has spread to the extent that few things seem possible without the intervention or resources of a third party vendor, from defining the need to delivering the solution to supporting and training.
We’ve achieved 100% de facto outsourcing! The counterpoint of course is that you have a body of knowledge workers who have been robbed of the opportunity to gain the knowledge they need to replace that vendor mentality.
Healthcare organizations: the consultants you want are the ones who will not sell you a single license or product until they have helped you define the problem and design the solution; expect to pay for their time.
Fundamentally, this is no one person’s fault, per se, nor should this be seen as an assignment of blame, but rather a general reflection that, for all the books, talks, discussions, groups, whitepapers and consultants, corporate computing will remain mired in a necrotic momentum that seeks to continue to survive instead of thrive and grow, learning the same wrong lessons from each ancestral generation and imparting it on to each successive descendant generations in situ. What mold-breaking successes that do come, stagnate and seem to not develop into behavior that can be consistently repeated.
In considering root causes, there is one key, very lacking, cornerstone. Accountability - the accountability that speaks to a pride in ownership and a desire to excel, to step up instead of cleave to the accepted status quo, in particular by those very same computing professionals. This isn’t just a management problem, this isn’t just a business problem.
There are many understandable, wholly justifiable reasons, mostly rooted in fear and lack of support, as to why this doesn’t occur. While the parable of the tortoise and the hare teaches that slow and steady get’s you there, I have to wonder if what’s missed is that the hare likely only lost the race once, then learned a valuable lesson and modified its behavior. That tortoise is welcome to that singular gold medal, hanging lonesome on its mantle, it’s only true testament that it lead to another’s success, another who wears shades from the overpowering brilliance of its accolades.
Now replace speed with accountability in the above story. Dig deeper and realize the other lesson here is that a lesson was learned and applied.
The lesson learned for me has been that it’s not for me to expect nor to demand, except in myself and those I lead, mentor or raise, a level of accountability that I hold myself to.
For me the this leads to my epiphany. I have defined myself by my work for the better part of two decades, the cornerstone of which is accountability – from which I am convinced all other things such as delivery, flows. I can no longer afford to do so, largely for my own sanity but also because of the perception this sets. While I take at least half of the responsibility in setting that perception, it appears that the balance of the half remains looking for a home. Sound familiar? Yes, there’s accountability (or lack thereof) again.
So, where the balance of my career in corporate computing is involved, it would appear that a reset of expectations is called for and the balance to be sought is contentment, not satisfaction nor happiness.
The sub-conclusion here is that as risky as entrepreneurial endeavors’ are it would appear that my happy professional place is there, which leads me to considered thought on my future professional growing exercises. I’m still ruminating on that; been there, got the t-shirt(s), if I’m unwilling to return to that fertile ground …
Certainly, I will not allow qualities to neither suffer nor erode, instead, they will enjoy a tighter scope!
There is comfort in this, in a way; it’s the self-inflicted globe off Atlas’ shoulders. There’s certain liberation in looking forward to not being defined by work and expelling those same energies into other avenues too long neglected.
While this still has legs to run around and finish baking, I can honestly say that I am breathing easier now than I have in years.
I will, however, shed a tear, but not for myself, but rather for the endurance of mediocrity where it already existed rather than the desperately needed elevation of excellence.
The loss here, is not mine.
