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#chargers vs eagles this weekend!
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How To Become A Billionaire
(photo courtesy of zazzle.com)
Imagine seeing YOURSELF on the cover of Time Magazine or maybe YOU prefer Fortune Magazine or maybe in a future Joking Gorilla Billionaire List. It doesn't matter, the important thing is YOU imagine. Imagine YOU'RE reading about YOUR success and new billionaire status today.
“[Insert YOUR Name Here] is now one of the world's richest individuals. He/She built an empire covering the whole gamut of the computing industry. He/She is worth a cool $29 billion. He/She built an amazing array of cool products that redefined how we use computers, mobile phones and other computing devices... etcera... etcera... etcera...”
Now, snap out of it!
This is how YOU did it.
First move, be born to unknown parents. It might help if YOUR last name is hard to spell, common or unknown. (Think Gates. Allen. Ellison. Jobs. Wozniak. Zuckerberg. Page. Brin.). YOU get the point.
Second move, study until college then drop out. In the last 50 years, billionaires especially on newly-created industries like computing, software engineering, mobile communications, the Internet, etc. usually dropped out of college to pursue a great idea. (Gates. Ellison. Jobs. Wozniak. Zuckerberg. Page. Brin.). YOU do need to finish high school though. We still have to encounter a billionaire who's a high school drop out (If YOU know one, let's hear it!). This probably means YOU do need to master reading (comprehension), writing and speaking skills as well as knowing a little about history, algebra and physics.
Third, think and pursue a great idea that can change the world. Now comes the hard part. It's easy to say this. It's even easier to put this on a piece of paper and call it a business plan. But execution is key. Almost all the new-age billionaires started their startups on their own dime. They had to invest something themselves first. The best indicator if YOU have a great idea? There's none. If YOU believe in something so strongly and are willing to pursue it then YOU'D probably end up a billionaire. But that's a BIG IF. Remember, Edison did fail ten thousand times before perfecting the light bulb mechanism. And he didn't end up a billionaire but his name will live on forever. And Col. Sanders did get the door closed on him almost 2,000 times before getting the secret formula right for KFC. And even Kung Fu Panda had to fail many times before learning the secret of the dragon warrior.
Fourth and the final step, execute with uncanny precision. Gates hit it big when Microsoft licensed their software program to IBM and built in great functionality (yes guys, at that time Windows was cool and cheap) to it. Ellison when he got a big contract from the government and by focusing on the server market first. Jobs when he got fired from Apple. Sorry, that's not it. Jobs actually did it in two spades (or is it three?): with Apple, he made an amazing product (Macintosh, others) that the world adored and with Pixar, he built a different kind of movie/animation house. And with Apple again with the iPod and iPhone. Larry Page and Sergey Brin did it by creating an amazing search engine they called Google. Google continues to redefine the marketplace. Zuckerberg built a site for social interactions – he built a great one, cool functionalities, amazing design and easy sharing of files – photos, videos and links. Facebook is like the iPhone of social networking – it looks great, YOU can do almost anything with it, and it's not so expensive – it's actually FREE. Design Matters. Design in Outlook. And Design in Process.
Let's recap then:
1 FIRST MOVE, BE BORN TO UNKNOWN PARENTS. This is so true, it will motivate YOU to become known.
2 SECOND MOVE, DROP OUT OF COLLEGE. So far, that's how the current billionaires did it.
3 THIRD MOVE, DEVELOP A GAME-CHANGING IDEA. That will do it. Provided YOU succeed.
4 FOURTH MOVE, EXECUTE! Now this is the hardest part, but this is key.
There is in fact a fifth step. We'll let YOU figure that one out. There are clues in this article. But that deserves another post. We believe Guy Kawasaki has written extensively about that subject.
P.S.
If all else fails, YOU have the following choices (in no particular order):
Marry a billionaire (YOU have to be a really hot!)
Marry into a billionaire's family (YOU have to be smart.)
Marry the ex-billionaire's spouse (Make sure they got at least a billion dollars after the divorce.)
Get YOURSELF adopted by the billionaire or the family (YOU have to be cute!)
Have any other ideas? Email it to us and we'll post them.
Racial Profiling and Acting Stupidly
I think President Obama "acted stupidly" in saying that the police officer who arrested Henry Louis Gates acted stupidly. What do you think?
There but for the grace of god
Last week, Henry Louis Gates, Jr., Harvard professor was arrested for breaking and entering into his own home and for disorderly conduct when the police refused to believe that this was his own residence.
Years ago -- 18 to be exact -- my husband and I purchased our first home in Hoboken. Because I was working on a campaign out of state at the time, my husband moved us in and met the neighbors. While he explained that his wife and daughter were out of state, he neglected to mention that we were not white like him and our neighbors; we were Asian. At the end of the campaign, four months later, I officially moved in with our 8 month old daughter. A few days later, I managed to lock myself out of the house. An older home, needing repair, it was pretty easy for me -- with my infant daughter -- to break into the house. A neighbor reported the "burglary" to the police. When they arrived, I explained the situation and pointed to the photos on the wall of my daughter and myself. They left content that I was the rightful resident of the home. Who couldn't relate to the story of forgetting their keys? In turn, I was happy that I lived on a block that looked out for one another. I also made it a point to meet all my neighbors so that I would never be called in to the police again.
Henry Gates' situation, though, is vastly different from mine. Professor Gates lived in his home for a while. The police came but did not accept his proof. He was arrested. While there is a larger public debate about racial profiling, I can't help but wonder about the training that the police received to not use common sense in this situation as well as the neighbor informer. Are we that disconnected from our neighbors that we don't recognize our own neighbor and offer help vs assuming the worst?
Scene From A Mini Market In Argentina - Present Day
INT. ROSCO SUPERMARCADO, BARILOCHE (CHILE) - DAY
A MILDLY ATTRACTIVE MAN in his mid-30’s is shopping for mayonnaise. He is comparing the ingredients of local mayonnaise (cheap) and Hellman’s (expensive, imported). An OLDER, GRAYING COUPLE minds the cash register.
Two Men Enter. KENNY is at the age when men start to fall apart, his gut hanging over his belt buckle and a face full of drunkard wrinkles. JIM is of the same age/variety and sports a hat that promotes “Jim’s Excavating. Great Neck, NY. We DIG.”.
JIM
(to male half of graying couple)
Do you have phone cards? The cheap kind. To call internationally.
MALE HALF/GRAYING COUPLE
No entiendo. Por favor…aqui?
(points to the wall)
JIM
I said do you have any phone cards.
Blank faces from OLDER GRAYING COUPLE.
JIM
I said do you have any phone cards.
KENNY, rummaging through magazines, comes to life. He pivots with his Reebok Lowtops (the kind that you buy at a wholesale liquidator) and holds up a magazine that shows the racier parts of the female anatomy.
KENNY
They got titty porn here in Argentina.
The centerfold is a triple-flap and it falls open as he motions for Jim to come over.
MIDLY ATTRACTIVE MAN IN HIS MID THIRTIES places the mayonnaise back on the shelf (carelessly, next to the mustard) and ferociously digs for his notepad and pen. He starts scribbling as the men talk, sure that he will cry if they don’t continue.
KENNY
Jeez, Jim. We’re gonna have to get this. This is some primo stuff.
JIM
Yeah I’m gonna need that too.
(a beat)
Yeah I’m really gonna need that later. But we gotta walk around and stuff. I don’t wanna carry it all day. The bags are all see-through and stuff.
KENNY
It’s the last one though. I’ll just buy it and leave it here. We can pick up later.
MILDLY ATTRACTIVE MID-30’s GUY is obviously trying to process the logic behind this move. He comes to the conclusion that, while quite simple, this solution is pure genius.
KENNY
Hey Lady. Can I buy this now and come back for it later?
FEMALE HALF OF OLDER, GREYING COUPLE looks confused by his words and even more puzzled as to why an American dressed like a gym teacher is waving a vagina in her face. OLDER, GREYING COUPLE BOTH LOOK at MILDLY ATTRACTIVE MID-30’S GUY.
FEMALE HALF OF OLDER, GREYING COUPLE
(to MILDLY ATTRACTIVE MID-30’s GUY)
Habla Espanol?
MILDY ATTRACIVE MID-30’s GUY
Un Poquito Mas.
JIM
You gottta tell her what we want, bro. Take one for the team. Help us out.
KENNY
Tell her we’ll buy a bottle of Soco too. It’s like, one third of the price that it is on The Island.
(Scene continues to play out like this: MAM30’sG coordinates the purchase in broken Spanish, managing to convey that the gentlemen care to circle back for their purchases later, and that there is no need for giftwrapping. MAM30’sG purchases Hellman’s mayonnaise ((feeling like a sucker for falling for a Name Brand)) and gives a what-are-you-going-to-do shrug to the OLDER, GREYING COUPLE.)
EXT. ROSCO SUPERMARCADO, BARILOCHE (CHILE) - DAY
MILDLY ATTRACTIVE MID-30’s GUY is wandering home, wondering if he, too, will end up like this one day, sharing print pornography on a holiday with the only friend that will still have him, possibly having some kind of competition to see who can orgasm faster, or more likely furthest. He wonders about their ex-wives and at what point they pulled the ripchord from the biggest mistake of their lives. He wonders about the wives' mothers, who surely warned them that This Would Happen, and if they rubbed it in after the breakup.
He ponders the endurance of print pornography, then agrees with himself that the life of this format is only five years from its demise, given the progression of handheld gadgets and the ubiquity of WiFi/GSM/etc.
He also wonders why Jim and Kenny have come to Argentina and not Florida, where cheap sluts and Soco are within short driving distance of most hotel properties. He then smiles because he understands why this moment is so important: The realization that matter how much of the world there is left to see, there will always be filthy men from strip-mall towns out there to amuse him. He sleeps well for the first night in a week.
